By Julie Peters | Source
Loving your body calls for changing the way you think about it and committing to a self-care practice that is both physical and spiritual.
Loving our bodies, our skin, our faces, and all of our other human parts is not an easy task. Waves of weight loss schemes, thinness fads, and new anti-aging technologies dominate what we see on our screens (if not in the streets), and we can’t help but compare ourselves. The rise of weight loss drugs like Ozempic along with new plastic surgery techniques have created some gravity-defying effects on celebrities. These have made for some fascinating transformations, but it’s not doing much to make the average gal feel okay in her skin.
The truth is, our bodies tell the stories of our lives: stretch marks from having children; gray hair from aging; scars from injuries or surgeries; wisdom lines from concentrating on something we care about; smile lines from experiencing joy. For good or for ill, our experiences are written on our skin. Sometimes it can feel like the point of all the beauty technologies out there is to make it look like we’ve lived very little life. At the very least, this pressure is an added stress, and for some of us, it can be a real source of pain, shame, and struggle.
Love can be a verb—it’s an action, not something that simply is or isn’t. Loving ourselves and our bodies is a practice, something that we choose to show up to, especially when the world seems to tell us not to. Here are some practices to help us love ourselves, our bodies, and even the act of looking in the mirror.
1. Remember that your body is yours.
Your body belongs to you and no one else, which is, in a way, a radical concept. You have the right to treat it however you want to, and that can include how you want to feel inside of it. You have every right to want to adorn your body or change the way you look in any way that works for you. But remember that it’s supposed to work for you; don’t change yourself just to fit into what you believe are someone else’s standards.
2. See the value in your body’s story.
Most of us have been taught that signs of aging or weight gain are universally bad. But fat is there to protect our vulnerable bodies, and it’s a myth that thinner is always healthier. (In many cases, overweight is actually safer and healthier than underweight.) Grey hairs have to be earned. Wrinkles are an echo of the facial expressions we’ve made over and over again. Scars are a reference to something healed.
Consider a part of your body that you particularly struggle with: What does this body part do for you? How, when, and why did it change, or has it always been a part of you? If you were to see its good, how would you tell its story?
3. Remember what you value.
We’re repeatedly told that it’s extremely important to look thin and young. But is that really what you value? What are the qualities of the people in your life you love the most? What are the qualities about yourself that you love the most? If you have children or were to have them, what would you want to teach them about how to be in relationship to their own bodies?
4. Live in a way that feels good for you.
Which foods do you like to eat? Which foods give you energy and brightness, and which diminish you? What kind of movement do you enjoy for its own sake and not because an influencer told you to do it? What medications, supplements, or lifestyle changes most benefit your health, considering whatever is going on with your body right now? What if you were to make choices for the sake of how you feel inside rather than what you look like?
5. Clarify your intentions.
When you think about what to eat, how to move, and whether to make any cosmetic changes to your face or body, take some time to think about what you’re actually trying to do. Do you want to exercise for heart health? A long life? Stress relief? The ability to run after your kids? Do you want to eat to fuel your mind, calm your nervous system, have adventures, experience pleasure? Rather than working on vague goals like “losing weight,” what would it feel like if your target was to lift a certain weight, hold a headstand away from the wall, or walk up the stairs without being out of breath?
Even with consistent, committed self-love practice, many of us have internalized shame or fear about our human bodies. We must forgive the part of ourselves that worries about it, because that part wants to belong, to be loved, to feel safe. When we notice negative thoughts arising, we can say hello to them, thank them for their opinions, and then keep living our lives on our own terms, whatever that might look like to each one of us.
Loving your body may require changing the way you think about it and committing to a practice of self-care that is both physical and spiritual.