One day, many years ago, during one of my homeless periods, I found myself having to hitch hike from work to the campground where my wife and I were staying. It was starting to get dark, and I wondered if I was just going to have to walk the 10 miles or so at night, when one of those Chevy Luv trucks pulled over off the highway ahead of me. That was my cue to run to the truck, hoping the driver wouldn’t change his mind.
I opened the passenger-side door and a 20-something man with a big grin greeted me warmly. He was so pleasant and upbeat I found myself gushing about all the misfortunes I’d been experiencing lately. He nodded sympathetically, as I spilled my guts in frustration at how much a victim I felt, and as I paused, he abruptly interjected, “You know, there really is nothing wrong.”
The way he said it took me aback, and I felt a sudden feeling of relief, and didn’t understand why. “How can you say that?” I retorted. “I’m having the worst week of my life,” I said, holding back tears. Calmly he replied, “What you’re going through–it’s just God experiencing all your feelings so he can balance the world.”
This thought immediately disarmed whatever negative ego-thinking I was doing, and I just sat there mulling that over. “Well, that’s certainly one way of looking at it!” I finally exclaimed, trying to not sound too sarcastic.
He went on, unperturbed, “It’s easy to get hung up on what’s wrong with you that’s making all these bad things happen, when actually, it’s just mixed up energy looking to become harmonized through you. That’s why god made humans.”
This point of view was becoming a revelation to me, and was somehow making complete sense, although I didn’t know why. “Sounds like you’ve been through some bad times yourself,” I offered.
“Well, it’s just been part of my work here on this planet.” He smiled and looked at me wryly. “Do you know why I picked you up?” I shook my head.
“It’s because I’m your angel. My name is Michael.” I glanced back at him, and he seemed to be glowing. “I’m not sure I get that, but I guess thank you.” I admitted.
By this time, we had arrived at the campground, and it was dark. My wife ran up to me when she spotted me getting out of the truck and, alarmed said, “Where the hell have you been? It’s almost 9 o’clock.” Shocked, I looked at my watch and realized it had been two hours since I had gotten the ride from Michael. I looked up, and his truck was gone; and I felt like I’d just woken up from a dream.
The other perspective
Michael’s words stuck with me, and as I’ve unpacked their meaning throughout my life, I’ve come to the realization that there has always been a whole lot more going on than I think there is. My ego gets triggered into petty worries and concerns about perceived mistakes and wrongnesses, when in Reality (with a capital “R”), there has never been anything actually wrong from a cosmic perspective.
And what other perspective is there to have, really? I am where I am as a result of who I am. Things happen in my life because they’re supposed to happen. How do I know that? Because they’re happening. And they’re happening so that the feelings I have about the events can at some point arrive at love. I see human beings–and all life, really–as a great cosmic filter where chaotic energies flow in, are refined by the experience of them, and then flow out as new knowledge available to the entire collective. If we avoid or block the feelings of the experience, there is no refinement, and the energies bounce around and around until they find a receptive point of consciousness.
This process can be seen as how random energies get coalesced into meaning as the result of conscious experience. It is how these energies become real, since experience is the only reality. The refining power of consciousness is how love can transform experience. When we can love ourselves and love our life experience, it feeds higher refinement into the general field of conscious experience, so every living thing benefits.
The dividing of experience into “good”, “bad”, “right”, and “wrong” is how the ego deals with defining itself. But these are inconsequential, arbitrary divisions. All energies of any ilk qualify as experience because at some point, they get refined into love for the benefit of all of life, regardless of how “wrong” it seemed at first. Hiding, avoiding, and denying certain energies based on the preferences of the ego mind, does nothing to refine the overall quality of life. But by allowing and embracing hard or negative energies and the feelings they temporarily create, the negativity is transformed for all of life, helping to raise all experience into love and joy.
So, say it after me: There really is nothing wrong.