Ashian: Greetings, dear heart, to you and to all. We will be as gentle as we can be on this subject, because we understand that it is a delicate yet painful life experience. But it is an increasingly common occurrence, so it is worthwhile spending time on a life experience that is often overlooked in spiritual teachings but is, nonetheless, an event that almost everyone will experience in one form or another.
Moreover, the principles that we discuss here are relevant in many aspects of life, not just when a marriage is ending.
J: You make a good point: it’s very common, yet I don’t see many people discussing it. Then again, I haven’t looked.
A: Let’s explore this a little more. There are well-established ceremonies and rituals across the world to mark the coming together of a couple. Whether these events are religious or secular, they are created to honour a union occurring within a community of people. That has power and potency. It lends legitimacy, and welcomes in new rites, roles and responsibilities between the couple themselves, as well as within their community. It is a public moment of honouring and celebration, of hope and birthing a new beginning.
This is not so with separation, which often tends to be downplayed and kept quiet to minimise shame, regret, pain and anxiety, as well as the intrusion of others.
Yet separation is a natural and normal occurrence, and never more so than now, when so many karmic bonds are coming to an end in these ‘end times.’ That in itself is a cause for celebration; it is a success, not a failure. It is a freeing of both individuals from another chain that bound them.
J: Just to be clear: you’re not saying all marriage/union is a chain that binds, are you?
A: Excellent clarification ~ definitely not! We are saying that relationships that come about because the souls are clearing karma arise from a contract (a chain/a bind/an agreement) to learn a lesson together to help them both evolve.
Dissolving karma is success, it is the knowing in your heart and soul that your agreement with this person has served it’s purpose; you have both graduated from this lesson!
Letting go of the social and familial shame that is often attached to separation is an important first step. For many, like it was for you, the shame of separating is the greatest hurdle to overcome. Your union is approved and applauded. Your success in bringing that union to its highest expression ~ where your karma is complete ~ has been subverted and mislabeled as shameful, a movement from public approval to private grief. But really, the truth is that it is also a public moment of honouring and celebration, of hope, and of birthing a new beginning.
We wish to suggest that the pathway through this painful time is as sacred as the process of marriage, union, unity. Religious institutions have been corrupted to force unhappy marriages to last long beyond their sell-by date, in order to keep the vibration on the planet low and heavy.
They have not provided you with tools to make this separation a conscious, loving act of release and surrender; honouring and celebrating what was and birthing a new beginning. If this were the case, if such tools existed, there would be space for grief to be honoured, pain to be felt and released, and gifts to be recognised. Everyone intimately involved, from children to close family, would emerge more healed and whole.
So, we wish to present some ideas for you to consider when you are in the process of separation. These are not rules, they are suggestions to inspire you to find ways that work for you and your circumstances:
- Reclaim your divine right to choose;
- Reclaim your divine right to create the sacred in every moment of life, not just the good moments;
- Reclaim your divine right to sovereignty, creativity, and emotional expression.
Here we go…
Remember, it only takes one person to perform these rituals, but they can be done in a group. It is the intent that is crucial: the intent to honour and heal, to create grace and ease for everyone. You are inviting the highest expression of the Divine to manifest in your separation, which allows for miracles and magic to manifest for all parties.
Bless the Relationship
This is a wonderful first step. Blessing the past and what has been shared elevates the life experiences gained to a higher vibration. It honours all that has happened as an expression of the Soul on its journey back towards full self understanding and integration within the Divine. Blessings create grace and ease, in every circumstance and in some very surprising ways, when the blessing is done with a purity of heart and mind, with an intention to honour all that has transpired.
Cut the Cords
Imagine every relationship is held together with an agreement ~ an agreement that ‘you are my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse. The lived experiences of that agreement create cords, ties, patterns of behaviour, needs and aversions; by cutting the cords (after they have been blessed) you allow for all that no longer serves the higher good of all parties to dissolve.
When relationships are based on karmic learning (which is usually re-balancing a negative misunderstanding of a positive truth) there are a lot of emotional ropes that bind you together. Imagine these cords, ropes, threads, chains being dissolved.
If you feel you are unable to do this yourself, ask a beloved angel, Ascended Master, or the Divine Mother/Father to assist you with this process. See the cords dissolve and the light flowing. This process can be a once-off, but it is more likely to be a process that will require several repetitions.
Explain to the Higher Self
In your quiet time, whether it’s prayer, meditation, walking, or anything you do to connect more deeply, ask your angels/guides/the Divine Mother/Father to create a meeting with your partner’s Higher Self. You will know when it happens; in that conversation you may explain everything that you wish to say ~ both the good and the less good ~ you can fully explain yourself (if you feel you aren’t able to do so at the human level) and ask for help in creating a separation that is as kind and loving as possible.
You can ask for feedback from your partner’s Higher Self. This can be one of the most powerfully transformative of rituals, if approached with an open heart and a willingness to listen and share.
Use Divine Energy
The process of separating is painful, and it can lead to anger erupting to cover the pain, especially if one partner is not ready to end the relationship. Remembering to send love through the violet flame can heal much of the anger that erupts through the process of separating. Being aware enough of your own emotions so that you are not lost in fighting or pain, but are capable of invoking the violet flame, is a sign that you are in your mastery.
Other flames, or energies, that are useful include the green flame of healing and the pink flame of peace. That Divine energy, that Divine power to create change through alchemy, is there for you to access; as you evolve in your mastery, in knowing and claiming that you are a master, it will become clear and evident to you that these powers are yours to use, to create outcomes that align to the highest good of all.
[J: Erm….You mentioned that already!]
A: At least you read what we channel! Yes, blessing is such an expansive, extensive topic that we could discuss it forever and still not know its full power. Here we wish to focus not on blessing the past experience of the relationship, but the everyday acts and interactions of separating out two lives.
Bless the paperwork, bless the tears that arise, bless the fears, bless the process of finding new accommodations…. all the acts associated with the separation (indeed any act ever performed) are improved, elevated, by blessing them. Blessing brings everything into closer alignment with the highest good of all, lifting them above the ideas, aspirations and limitations of the ego.
J: Thanks Ashian, I’m glad you’re sharing these, as they’re all techniques that were shared with me, and which I think really helped. There is one other technique that a friend shared with me which I found really helpful, and actually quite miraculous.
Bless the Ring
As I was married, I had a ring, but I believe rings were ~ like so many aspects of life, from music and food to buildings and technology ~ spellcast. So I cleared all the negative energy from the ring, leaving only the love. Here’s the miraculous part: it went from dull to shiny instantly. It was a different colour to my engagement ring before I did the blessing (choose your own words and your Higher Self will guide you) and after the blessing, it was the exact same colour as my engagement ring.
A: You are all Divine. You are here to rediscover and reclaim your divinity, your innate power. There are signs of this everywhere, and as you awaken, these signs are clearer and so abundant that you will wonder how you missed them, how you ever doubted.
Claim your divinity. Even if you think you are only pretending, that’s fine. Fake it until you make it!
J: You’re a regular hack today with all the colloquialisms!
A: This can be a heavy subject, but our goal is bring it into the light, to allow the divinity inherent in all of life’s moments to transform even the saddest moments, so that the sacred, transcendent aspects of life are honoured.
J: Thanks Ashian, I really appreciate it.
(c) Jennifer Crokaert 2022 http://www.jennifercrokaert.com